Sunday, June 17, 2007

Like you, I have been invited to many weddings in my lifetime and have actually been part of the wedding ceremony itself many many times, but not as the bride, of course. The maid of honor, a few times, bridesmaid, a few times too, even flower girl, but that goes back a few years, ahem. Folks, I am a confirmed bachelor and an unrelenting, dyed in the wool, born romantic. Therefore, because of my "romantic" nature, I am the ideal person to take a critical, but friendly look at the marriage ceremony and marriage itself. I'm only writing about weddings because it's June, and we at Shopsicle have been acutely focused on finding and presenting unusual wedding gifts for your gifting pleasure and convenience.

Back to marriage. Some of us get it right, but not everyone. You want to know what bothers me? Some people think that marriage means they have to give up their identity, who they are. How sad. I'm a idealist. Do it the right way and for the right reasons.

Getting married should be a time when two people graduate from "two" to another kind of "two". With marriage, two people who are very fond of one another suddenly become "family". The possibilities here are endless in that "family" represents an amazingly powerful social structure. Unity is good design. Unity is a good word. You stand together and grow, shoulder to shoulder with complete respect for each other's individuality. As a matter of fact, you should support one another's uniqueness and objectives in life.

Marriage is not the end of "freedom" for the bride or for the groom. Just dating has to be confined to your wife or husband please. I'm not that permissive.

The parties: showers, bachelor's party, etc. that precede the wedding ceremony seem to be "off the mark" to my mind. The poor groom has to endure the indignity of a raucous pagan ceremony, packed with things he never did anyways, to symbolize the end of his carefree, devil may care existence, as if life is ending that very night.

At the bridal shower, the bride is gifted utensils for the kitchen, honeymoon style lacy lingerie from Victoria's Secret, whether she's the "lacy" type or not, joke gifts, tupperware. Soap is good. I guess some of these things will come in handy eventually, but I ask you, where is the glamour? Soap can be glamorous. If these gifts are not the bride's own taste, will she give them away? Your hard earned money will have been wasted.

Think about the people you are gifting. In this case, your bride and groom. What is their taste? Are they registered somewhere? You can veer away from that, but you should consider their taste nonetheless. Are they contemporary? Very traditional?, eclectic? Give them what you know they will enjoy and use for years to come.

When in doubt, I always opt for classics. Click "wedding" in and go into "housewares". You will see some real classics, such as the Alessi teapot. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't enjoy owning that. Also, look at "silver" under "wedding" in the navigation bar. There are some beautiful very simple pieces that can be engraved. What an elegant gift!

If this is the month you yourself are getting married, Congratulations to you and my wishes for great happiness. If you are going to a wedding, have fun and shop Shopsicle.

Greetings and best always, Joan


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too am a confirmed bachelor, of the male variety. I have a lady who loves me and I, her. Alas, there are no gifts for us because we prefer our single status. Can there be a "single people who simply love each other forever" day? With gifts? I like the gifts in shopsicle and have given many, but none have been given me. Perhaps we should marry. RLM

6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, you are so right! I am single too. I have given so many wedding gifts in my lifetime. No one gifts me for being single. I think "Sex In the City" had an episode in which Carey was lamenting just this. No one even gave me a house warming gift when I moved into my apartment and gave everybody a party. NOT ONE GIFT!!!! And you know who you are.

7:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's good to question our traditions. When you really think about them, many of them don't make much sense. But remember that people love tradition, like a silly wedding shower given by friends who love you and a stag night given by friends who love you.

5:05 AM  

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